THE RACE

Running takes discipline, strength, and endurance.  It's exhilerating, yet tiring when you are as out of shape as I am...I'm not very good at it.  Yet the object is always the same...finish.  Finish with the best time, preferrably...but if not, it's a big feat to finish anyway.  Pounding feet on the pavement, sweat pouring from your brow, muscles burning in your body, Oxygen pushing through your lungs.  With every drop of the foot you are ever closer to that big white banner that declares victory.  At first, it seems so far away, fuzzy in the distance...but gradually as it comes into focus, the determination is there...I'm almost there, I've almost done it.  Just a little bit further, until finally...SUCCESS!   As you stand there awaiting your prize, the thought keeps going through your mind...I did it, wow.  All the hard work, all the training, all the pain...I got here.  I DID IT!  Wow what a mental picture!!

Life takes discipline, strength and endurance.  We have mountains and valleys, even some pain along the way.  Pain that at times is gut wrenching, where throwing in the towel seems like the best idea...anything to be rid of the pain, the hurt, the anguish.  Then in the distance, blurry but constant you see it....a promise.  A promise emblazened in your memory as though it is a ball of fire...Jesus.  Jesus in all his glory stands under that blurry Finish line with a crown...waiting.  Arms outstretched, pierced hands beckoning...keep going my child,  I am here.  I will always be here....Trust me!  Keep pushing forward.  Determination kicks in, and a deep love and exhileration pumps through your veins.  He will always be there, He loves unconditionally.  A friend who doesn't judge, a boss who never changes his mind, the author of your whole life, waits to complete you as your feet fall with every step.  As you get closer to Him, His face becomes clearer.  He's smiling, yearning for your company.  You are His bride and He waits with love shining from His eyes.  Keep going my child.

I've had so much going through my head lately.  God is teaching me so much...and I am humbled.  Humbled that He chose me.  Humbled that He loves me.  Humbled He wants to use me, even though He doesn't need me.  As I'm running, sometimes exhilerated and sometimes with a pretty painful stitch in my side, I wonder how do I deal with feelings of inadequacy.  To most I'm a porcupine, odd...a social misfit.  Sometimes it hurts, sometimes I long to fit in...but why?  None of that really matters...not compared to eternity.  I'm learning slowly that my focus should be on the finish line, on my Jesus...not on those around me.  My race.  Who's acceptance am I looking for?  The other runners? No...I want my Jesus to be proud of me.  I want to cross that finish line and be told..."Well done..."  I want to run in a godly way, and be gracious and kind to the other runners, but my goal should be finishing...winning, and bringing as many people with me as I can. 

Lord, please help me remember, what matters is you.  What matters is loving God and loving others above myself (that is so hard somedays).  What matters is reflecting my salvation on the outside to bring glory to You in all I do.  Help me keep that focus, and continue to remind me...I am bought with a precious price, and You will never give up on me!

1 Cor 9: 24-25  "You know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize.  So run to win!  All those who compete in the games use self-control so they can win a crown.  That crown is an earthly thing that lasts only a short time, but OUR CROWN WILL NEVER BE DESTROYED."  (NCV emphasis mine)

Jesus, I need You!

THINGS THAT MATTER

The world is falling down around us, our economy has run amuck, politicians (left and right) have only their agendas in mind, everyone is looking out for their own interests, myself included sadly more than I'd like to admit.  But is this the way that Christ would have us live? Would He want us so absorbed in Facebook, community forums, the hustle and bustle of life, our OWN problems, that we become apathetic and cold to those around us? Of course not!  It is against the very essence of who HE is.  Yet I do this daily.  Daily I worry about the next thing on the agenda, the next customer that sits at my desk, what I will do when I leave work, what I will do for supper, what am I going to do this weekend, and how I failed last week.  I get consumed with my own shortcomings and allow myself to get defeated, and bogged down with feelings of worthlessness and shame.  And for what?  It's a waste of energy, a waste of time, a hopeless battle, a LIE straight from the pits of hell.  I AM SPECIAL, I AM IMPORTANT, AND I AM VALIDATED IN CHRIST.  I'm coming to learn that all these things I've been told all my life are TRUE! Imagine that...I DON'T NEED ANYONE ELSE, BECAUSE I HAVE JESUS!! Life, even at it's worst, is worth living, BECAUSE I HAVE JESUS!  Faith.  It's hard.  As I age though, and look back on the times I felt so unworthy, or in so much emotional trauma that I didn't want to go on....GOD HAD A PLAN.  As I look back, I can see God's handiwork, and where it's brought me.  The future is uncertain, and scary.  If I allow myself to dwell on it, it's terrifying.  BUT JESUS!!!!  I have to look where I've come from, and what I've come through....and have FAITH that since God has shown me, how all that worked out for His glory, He can be trusted for the future.  He's BIG ENOUGH! He is unchanging, He is my Daddy, my ABBA!  Though at times I feel alone in this world, even sometimes in the midst of those that claim the cross of Christ...I WILL cling to my Lord.  An act of the will, not a feeling or emotion. DETERMINATION to finish the race and ultimately hear "Well done, my good and faithful servant."  NOTHING else matters!

"...because those who are led by the Spirit of God are sons of God.  For you did not receive a spirit that makes you a slave again to fear, but you received the Spirit of sonship.  And by him we cry 'Abba father.' " Romans 8:14-15
"In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness.  We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express.  And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints in accordance with God's will." Romans 8: 26-27

"Make peace with God and make peace with yourself, 'cuz in the end there's nobody else." (How You Live Point of Grace)

Father thank you for all you are teaching me.  Thank you for your Spirit inside me.  I am so unworthy, but you see me through the blood of Jesus, a princess....your child.  I am humbled by your love, and desire in my heart to please you.  Thank you for all you will do today, and please help me recognize opportunities when they come, and to obey that still small voice.